Is Premium Vodka Worth It?

Introduction

You wouldn’t think your VP of HR would be the one to turn you on to top-shelf liquor. Yet there I was. During a long-forgotten after-work drink, I ordered a dry vodka martini with olives—classic, safe. Donna gave me a slight sneer, then ordered a Grey Goose with a twist. I suddenly questioned everything, including my career trajectory.

And so began my multi-decade commitment to The Goose. A loyalty not unlike the way people root for their favorite sports teams: irrational, expensive, and based largely on branding.

Fast forward to living in the Midwest. Tito’s started making the rounds. Everyone was drinking it—for reasons that no one could quite articulate. I gave it a try. It felt a bit… aggressive. Less like a smooth operator, more like vodka in work boots. Was this punishment for abandoning my elegant Goose?

Which raised the inevitable question: Is premium vodka actually worth it?

The Setup

One quiet Saturday, Deb and I were looking for an activity that didn’t involve crowds, driving, or small talk. I suggested a formal vodka tasting night. It would be fun, contained, and finally put this premium vodka debate to rest. Deb smiled and nodded. Game on.

She headed to the liquor store with a mission: buy five 80-proof vodkas across the price spectrum, and hide the labels. The clerk sealed the bottles into a stapled brown paper bag—nice touch. Deb’s daughter handled the glass prep, labeling five tumblers 1 through 5 and pouring two ounces of mystery booze into each. Behind the bar, she tucked away the answer key in a sealed envelope, like a boozy episode of CSI.

I set out a tray of palate-cleansing snacks, a notepad for each of us, and we prepared for science. Or something resembling it.

Here are the vodkas and their relative prices. Is Grey Goose worth its 2.66 x premium?

The Method

We sipped slowly, took notes, and judged each pour like it was the semifinals of Vodka’s Got Talent.

• Vodka 1: Smooth, clean, not overly boozy. A solid start.
• Vodka 2: More bite. Buttery somehow? Definitely a bit of an edge.
• Vodka 3: Meaty. Viscous. I said something about the finish. Deb rolled her eyes.
• Vodka 4: Pleasant, but was it a clone of 2? The grape-cream cheese-Triscuit was blurring my judgment.
• Vodka 5: Harsher. More reedy. That’s a thing, right?

I felt pretty good about #3. Deb liked #5 best, but was also leaning toward #2. We discussed viscosity, smoothness, and burn like we were on a Food Network panel. It was the most serious anyone has ever been about five mini plastic cups of liquor.

Enter: The Eye Doctor Method

We needed a tiebreaker. I recalled my last eye exam—the endless string of A or B, B or C?

I covered the number labels and ran Deb through a vodka version of the eye test. “A or B?” Click. “B or C?” Click click. Without realizing it, she abandoned her original favorite (5) and settled on #4 as her winner.

She returned the favor, minus the sound effects. I ended up preferring #2. We stared at each other in disbelief. No fistfights. No strong convictions. Just a slow unraveling of everything we thought we knew.

The Reveal

We opened the envelope like it held a CIA briefing.

My initial favorite? Good old Grey Goose. But in the re-test, I ditched it for Absolut. Deb’s original fave? The cheapest bottle on the list. Her final pick? Tito’s.

Our loyalty was as durable as a dollar-store umbrella in a wind tunnel.

We finished the cups—purely for cleanup purposes, of course—and sat in stunned silence. Well, stunned and slightly buzzed.

So… Is Premium Vodka Worth It?

Let’s break it down:

• Entertainment value: A+
• Scientific validity: Somewhere between “meh” and “do not cite this study”
• Clarity: Literally and figuratively, it got blurrier as we went
• Final verdict: Our new favorite vodka is New Amsterdam. Unless something else is on sale.

And that’s the point. We realized we’d been overpaying by up to 2.5x per bottle for decades. All based on brand, status, and habit.

Now let’s take it a step further.

Buy Cheap Vodka, Invest the Difference

Over 40 years of drinking, how much did we really spend on premium labels? Probably enough to buy shares in the companies that sold it to us.

But would that be a good idea?

In the 10 year stock chart above, the golden line shows the S&P 500’s growth—our yardstick for the overall market. The other lines? Stock prices for Diageo (DEO Blue line), Brown Forman (BF.B Black line), and Constellation Brands (STZ Brown line)—the corporate bar owners behind many premium booze labels.

Hmm. It looks like the premium vodkas weren’t any better as an investment.

Of course, past results aren’t predictive, and this isn’t investment advice. But it is a reminder that small tweaks in spending can have long-term payoff.

The Takeaway

This wasn’t just about vodka. It was about unexamined habits, price vs. value, and being open to the idea that we might not actually know the difference. It was also about laughing with Deb and proving, once again, that financial insight doesn’t have to be boring—or require spreadsheets.

So what’s your go-to vodka? Can you actually tell the difference in a blind taste test? Or are we all just label loyalists chasing a goose that isn’t so golden?

Let me know in the comments.

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